i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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