i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
