I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize