Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
