so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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