I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
