what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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