Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
