Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
