you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
