I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
