come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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