how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
