so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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