I heard we made out
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
