i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I can tuck mytits in my pants
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
