i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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