"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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