so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
