My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just want to make out with him forever
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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