have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
