Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
