Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
