From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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