I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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