When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
