Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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