And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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