I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Im part way to drunk.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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