I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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