those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
