we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
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