I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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