She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
