He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
