Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I had to cum in my sink.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
