dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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