He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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