Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.