i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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