David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
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OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
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I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.