Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?

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  (612): What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home? http://tfl.nu/fztn
  Replies (98) Good night (5332) Bad night (54919)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  How much beer did you get for it?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied

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  (440): Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds (1-440): How much beer did you get for it? (440): One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied http://tfl.nu/6auu
  Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (1794)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..

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  (902): he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us.. http://tfl.nu/wn2b
  Replies (33) Good night (1654) Bad night (3958)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.

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  (914): I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis. http://tfl.nu/cpy9
  Replies (35) Good night (5022) Bad night (1959)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.

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  (613): She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard". (202): Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded. http://tfl.nu/4upv
  Replies (39) Good night (6981) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.

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  (610): we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again. http://tfl.nu/goom
  Replies (6) Good night (3341) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense

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  (484): so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense http://tfl.nu/m14d
  Replies (8) Good night (2061) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall

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  (302): My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall http://tfl.nu/j51z
  Replies (13) Good night (1311) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (331): View more from Illinois

  My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.

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  (331): My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good. http://tfl.nu/opzi
  Replies (17) Good night (5463) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.

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  (816): I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before. http://tfl.nu/94fr
  Replies (6) Good night (1576) Bad night (580)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"

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  (334): Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!" http://tfl.nu/kpjr
  Replies (4) Good night (1121) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.

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  (973): You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him. http://tfl.nu/xmf9
  Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (432)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.

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  (417): Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that. http://tfl.nu/gtr5
  Replies (0) Good night (618) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...

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  (204): So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose... http://tfl.nu/vbso
  Replies (2) Good night (146) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.

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  (304): This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid. http://tfl.nu/as8m
  Replies (3) Good night (410) Bad night (119)

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