grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.