wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
