Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
