Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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