You don't have asthma, your pregnant
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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