please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize