I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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