I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
