he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
