So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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