these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
