Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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