The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
