If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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