What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just high enough for therapy.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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