Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
