I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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