I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
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Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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