its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
