Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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